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“People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute”

October 25, 2012

The title of this blog post is in reference to one of my favorite scenes from my favorite TV show of all time, Gilmore Girls. In context: the college girl is just living her life day-to-day until she decides to do a newspaper story about a club called the Life and Death Brigade. The article leads her to a gathering in which members jump from very high in the air, and she has the chance to join them. Long story short, she climbs up there, and it’s one less minute she hasn’t lived.

Now to me. Three days ago, I published a blog post about how I’m confused and everything’s changing and I don’t know how to deal with it, and I ended the post just as confused as I started it. It’s funny how in three days, I’ve found so much more clarity, and that’s why I’m writing this post.

“People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute” is a quote I keep in a note on my iPod because it makes me feel passionate about, well, living life. And I mean, I’ve acted on that quote before; you know, I’ve studied abroad, I’ve done cool things I’ll never forget, I have great people in my life, etc. But in the past few months, I’ve felt like I’ve been in a rut… the same routine… all the time… every day. And I’m just not feeling it. But I think, ladies and gentlemen, I have found a way to end my current rut for real.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still just as confused as I was on Monday. I am still just 19, after all. But for, I think, the first time since I arrived home from Italy (which I realize wasn’t that long ago in the grand scheme of things, but still), I have found that sense of pure life that comes from standing on the ledge of an amazing adventure, getting ready to jump off. Because things are happening right now that could change the course of my life.

I realize I’m being pretty vague in this post because I’m not saying anything more than that, but I don’t want to mention things prematurely. Maybe that makes this post not even worth writing, but I felt that it was necessary to express my excitement for life right now. I think I’ve been so focused on checking things off of a list – did that, will do that then, doing that now, etc. – that I’ve forgotten that I am the one who gets to choose what’s right for me, and there’s no standard or clear road map I have to take in my life.

You know when you’re doing a puzzle and you get to look at the picture on the box to cheat and figure out what the piece you’re holding in your hand designates and where the heck it matches in the picture you’re trying to construct? Life is not like that. Sure, it’s a puzzle, and everything that happens is a piece to it, and it’s constantly being formed, and everything connects, etc. But there’s no box in life. There’s no picture that tells you exactly what piece goes where and how to get that perfection. It’s up to you to determine what that picture is supposed to look like, and I haven’t been so excited about continuing to create my puzzle so far this school year.

In closing, I just watched the most recent episode of NBC’s Parenthood. Here’s a super applicable quote: “You should do what feels good; life is short.”

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From → Sophomore

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